How I Got Here
God works in mysterious ways.
We have all heard this many times in our lives, but do we truly believe it? I thought I did, and then one day I realized that what I knew and understood was just the tip of the iceberg (and probably still is!).
Faith is something that I have always had in my life and something prominent in our home growing up. We went to church every Sunday, attended Sunday school, participated in bible studies, and I was baptized and confirmed in front of our church family. I believed in God, believed in Jesus, and knew he was designing a future fit for my purpose. What I didn’t know was that faith can be instilled, but sometimes it takes a test of faith (or many) to realize that true trust and faith in God is something time must cultivate.
Growing up, I wanted to be an architect. My friend and I would draw restaurants, buildings, hotels and arrange them just perfectly with all the little details down to the chairs at the tables. I loved the idea of designing something for people to use and making it a unique and special place. What I didn’t know at the time, was that the “making something unique and special for people” part would shape my future and lead me to do things in my life I never thought I would.
From an early age, people considered me a caring, helpful person. I was the “nice” girl at school, followed the rules, and tried to treat other people the way I wanted to be treated. I had a big heart, a sensitive soul (too sensitive some would say), and cared a lot about other people, which occasionally had hidden strings attached. I turned into the epitome of an Enneagram 2, also known as “the helper.” This lead me to realize that although being an architect was a super cool job, it probably didn’t suit me as well as other professions. I went into college at The University of Oklahoma as a pre-nursing major because I came from a medical household and soon realized that blood, shots, and night shifts were not it for me. On a walk with my dad one day during the second semester of my freshman year, we discussed what I wanted to do with my life and how I wasn’t super happy with the idea of nursing. I wanted to help people, but I was caught in the dilemma of do I follow in the family's footsteps, or do I follow my intuition and my heart. As you can probably guess…I followed my heart. It was during a class that same semester my freshman year we were given a project to create a lesson plan, and a lightbulb went off. A teacher. That was who I was.
I changed my major shortly after this revelation, and the rest was history. I finished college and loved every minute of elementary education degree and practicums. It brought me so much joy to watch these little minds soak up concepts like a sponge, and even more to know that I had a part in helping them succeed. I started my student teaching in first grade at an amazing school in Norman, Oklahoma, and accepted a position in second grade the following year. I set up my classroom with every little detail in place (thank you little architect in me for helping me be detailed oriented), ready to welcome my students with open arms. It was a magical time, but also one of miraculous growth for my students, and myself.
I quickly found that alongside the great joy of being an educator, came many other obstacles that I would have to learn to overcome. Trying to meet the needs of each child, following the curriculum, finishing the curriculum in the 9 months I had with my students, assessments, benchmarks, testing, all while making learning fun and interesting. I wanted my classroom to be a place where my students wanted to come to every day, but it seemed like all these demands were making it near impossible. With time and experience, I was able to work through most of them, but they always seemed to be there lurking, waiting to strike. Teaching children is a heavy responsibility, but for them to succeed it must be done.
This thought, although somewhat obvious, stayed with me as I continued my teaching career and moved jobs to start teaching Pre-k. Teaching these sweet, little humans some of the most foundational skills of life highlighted this fact even more. We must teach, not just expect. Then, I became a mother.
My sweet boys. They bring me joy, love, and light every day (also dirt, dinosaurs, and diggers). They also brought a whole new meaning and understanding to this idea of teaching, not expecting. Many times throughout their infant and toddler years, my husband and I would get frustrated they wouldn’t do something or didn’t understand something we were asking them to do but had we taken the time to teach them? Probably not. My husband and I had many discussions about times in our life when we were just expected to do something but had never adequately been taught. Most of these skills were life things like taxes, buying a house, paying bills, credit scores, ironing, etc., but still, it illuminated the need for us to stop and think before we expect too much from our children.
All of these things, my career, my children, my sensitivity, my enneagram two-ness, (the little architect girl), the trials and dark times in my life, brought me here. It brought me to writing books for children that speak life and teach the meaning behind how we feel for them and the words we say. Looking back, it all looks like individual pieces of my life, stepping stones to get from one place to the next, but when you look you see a methodical, well-thought-out plan that God designed just for me. So many times throughout the journey I didn’t understand why something would happen, why I had to wait, or why the future was uncertain. When you finally reach wherever it was that you were headed, you see how each moment lead to it. You notice the little things that God put in your way to make it happen just so. That is where the faith builds. That is where the trust builds. That is where you start to realize that you have no control, and to truly have faith you must surrender to God’s sovereignty over your life. See what I mean about it being the tip of the iceberg? Honestly, I think our time on Earth will always be the tip of the iceberg because what we have waiting is better than we could ever comprehend. The journey will continue, the learning will continue, the faith will continue to build all the days of our life.
God works in mysterious ways.
