Power of a Compliment
Have you ever received a compliment that completely changed your day? Isn’t it amazing how one little act of kindness can give a person hope, and positivity, and maybe even completely alter the course of their life?
When I think back on my life and the compliments I have received, many were just little moments of happiness, but some created change in my heart. Compliments are powerful. They can be simple, but they carry so much more weight than just their words. The funny thing about compliments though is that oftentimes, they are just thought, not said. We often think nice things about people we meet or see, but oftentimes do not tell them what our thoughts were. We also might tell other people what we observed, but not the person we are talking about. One example is I would hear that someone said something nice about me to my mom, my friend, or my sister, but I always wondered what it would have felt like if they would have said it directly to me.
Some of the best compliments I have ever received were said directly to my face. One of the compliments was in my second year of teaching, another which happened just this summer, and amazingly another that happened today (which I think is so crazy considering I was about to sit down and write this blog post.). They weren't about what I looked like or about what clothes I was wearing, but about me as a person.
The first compliment is kind of funny, but as I mentioned before means so much more to me than just the words that were said. During my second year of teaching (back when I was Miss Lindsey pre-marriage), I had an incredible group of 2nd graders. They were so fun to teach and made my monumental task of educating children to feel less like a mountain of responsibility, but a reminder of the calling. It was about halfway through the year, and we had indoor recess because it was too cold to go outside. I was not on recess duty that day, but I had decided to stay in the classroom to get a few grades entered into the computer. I was busy and focused on checking grades off of my ever-growing to-do list, and one of the little girls in my class came and tapped me on the shoulder. She said, “Ms. Lindsey, we have something to show you!” We had an easel in our classroom that was dry erase on one side, and during indoor recess I usually let my kids take turns drawing on it a few at a time. On this day I had a group of 6 girls that wanted to work together, and I decided to allow it because they worked so well together. When I walked over to the easel, I saw “Miss Lindsey is…” and each letter of the alphabet with a word describing me. It said things like “Awesome, Beautiful, Caring, Darling…” I am pretty sure I cried for a few reasons but just seeing that those were the qualities these little girls saw in me brought me to my knees. It was not how I viewed myself, but it was humbling, to say the least, and made me realize that I was doing okay. Shortly after I saw this board of beautiful words, one of the little girls said “Miss Lindsey, have you ever seen Matilda? You kind of remind me of Miss Honey.” That about put me over the edge. If I never heard another compliment in my life, I would be okay with that being the last one.
The second compliment happened this summer while my husband and I were at one of his best friend’s rehearsal dinners. We were lucky enough to be able to travel to Athens, Greece, and the country of Cyprus for this wedding and it was an amazing experience. We had the best time and saw so many incredible things. We saw the Parthenon, walked the Ancient Agora, took in the beauty of the island of love, and were astounded by the beauty of the Mediterranean Sea. On the night of the rehearsal dinner, we were on the pier looking out over the ocean, talking with friends, and taking pictures. As we were walking back to get seated for the dinner, the mother of one of the bride’s friends came up to me and took a hold of my arm. She said, “I just want you to know that you are lovely. I spotted you from afar and you have a light about you that can’t be missed.” I was speechless because this stranger I had never met before took the time to stop in the middle of a party to come and tell me this. Little did she know that I had been internally struggling about a lot of things (one of which was the vulnerability of putting your writing out for the world to see), and that compliment propelled me forward. A boost of confidence that reminded me the light inside although it may feel dim, can still be seen by others.
The final compliment I received just this morning. One of my best friends just had her fourth baby. I was lucky enough to spend some time with her a couple of weeks ago and am always amazed at how she handles motherhood. She is always learning, always coming up with great ideas, and is one of my favorite people to talk to because she is a great friend and mother. We had been playing phone tag for a few days and were finally able to connect this morning. We talked about a few life things and picked up where we left off the last time we talked. Toward the end of our conversation, she said, “I also wanted to call you because I wanted to tell you how much I love all your book stuff! I love the esthetic, the content, and I am so proud of you.” As I mentioned before, this journey is vulnerable. It is scary and I know I might get my feelings hurt along the way (Check out my blog on being an enneagram 2 to learn more about this), but hearing from someone I respect and care about so much that they were proud and that they had taken time out of their busy day to tell me so, hit me right in the heart. If you are a mom you know that time on the phone is hard to come by. We are lucky if we get 2 minutes of good conversation, but she intentionally wanted to call to tell me she was proud.
Like I have said in other blog posts, this is a lot about me, but there is so much more to it than me. These compliments are mere examples of what one intentional comment can mean to someone else. How often do you walk around and see someone who is doing something good, or how nice someone looks, or notice how hard someone is working? What if next time you noticed, you did something about it? What if you shared that compliment you thought with that person? What if that compliment changed their life? You might simply say something that brightens their day, or you might be the inspiration and the spark to push them forward in their pursuit of something great. I challenge you to start sharing your compliments. They might be small, but sometimes small words have the biggest impact. Be intentional, spread the light, and remember the power of a compliment.
