A View into an Enneagram 2
If it isn’t already obvious from the types of books and blog posts I write, I am what my friends and I like to refer to as a “hard 2” on the Enneagram.
If you have never heard of the Enneagram before, it is a personality test that I think everyone should take! It helps us take a closer look at who we are and why we do what we do. It also opens doors to learning more about others, which can lead to more understanding, more sympathy, and more grace. It is a powerful tool and one that can truly change minds and hearts. Here is a link to a free test to find out your Enneagram number.
Each person will fall into 1 of 9 personality types, but the degree to how much of that personality type you embody varies. I love that it directs you to your “number,” but it does not put you into a set box as you might lean more one way than another on the number scale. You will also have a “wing” number that plays a factor in your personality. I heard a description from Suzanne Stable (one of the authors in “The Road Back to You,” which is a great resource for Enneagram research!) that said to think of each number like a color. If a 2 on the Enneagram was the same as the color blue, think how many shades of blue there are in the world. There are so many varying shades of blue, just as there are many different types of 2’s in the world. We each have a unique makeup that makes us a special, unique person in our number category.
A 2 is considered “The Helper” and I think from my earliest memories, I have embodied this personality type. When I was little, I loved hard, felt all the feelings, was very sensitive, and loved to help out (even when help was not wanted). These core parts of my personality have not changed much as I have gotten older, but how I view myself and the weight of the responsibilities of the help I want to give have.
One thing about a 2 is that we are always looking to others. We look for ways to help others, we look for ways to diagnose others, and oftentimes we think we know others better than they know themselves. I think that is why nurturing comes so easily for most 2’s. The problem with being so concerned with others is that it doesn’t leave a lot of room for ourselves. We tend to get burnt out or hit our limit quickly because we are not as good about staying in tune with what we need. We oftentimes without realizing have strings attached to the help we give because it is one of the natural ways we seek self-assurance. This is the sin of “Pride” that is oftentimes attached to a 2's personality, and it can be a very hard thing to overcome and recognize. I have been working on these aspects of myself for quite some time, I would love to say I am getting better at it, but I believe it will always be a work in progress.
Now besides the “helper” part of being in “The Helper” category, another defining factor of people like me is what I like to call “the feels.” We are majorly feelings oriented (one of the 3 numbers within the heart triad to be exact), which is a blessing a lot of the time, but can also create problems. As I mentioned before, I was very sensitive growing up (and still am!). I got my feelings hurt so easily, and cared so much about what other people would think. When I felt something whether happy or sad, I felt it hard. This fact has been one of the most challenging parts of my being a 2 in my adult life.
One day I was talking with my husband about our numbers (which we tend to do quite frequently, and I think all married people should do!!), and I was trying to explain to him the depth of my feelings. When I feel something, I feel so hard and so deep that sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe (especially when it is a negative emotion). I feel outraged when I am mad, and he can attest to this fact. When I am sad I feel overwhelmingly sad. When I feel worried, I feel all-consuming worry. I tend to hang on to the emotions for a long time and dwell on them until I have some resolution. This has been one of the biggest blessings of my life, but also one of my perceived “weaknesses.”
For a very long time, I viewed my sensitivity and my “twoness” as a bad thing. Sure I was a helper, a giver, and thought about others way more than I thought about myself, but I also spent so much time trying to fight the sensitive part of myself because it felt weak. I felt like I needed to toughen up and let go of things easier. I have spent the better part of my 33 years working on being less sensitive. The problem is that is who I am, and I’m never going to be able to change that about myself. I feel my feelings hard, and if I didn’t…I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t have the relationships I have, I wouldn’t have the life I have, and I wouldn’t have the words I have. The more time that passes and the more stepping stones of my life I walk on, the more I realize why God made me the way he did. If I didn’t care so much about feelings and emotions, I would have never been able to write these books and pass along his messages of truth. Now more than ever, I am thankful that I can’t change because I am finally seeing purpose in why he made me a 2.
This post has a lot about me in it, but if you let it, it can also be about you. If you allow yourself to dive deeper into who are you, maybe you will uncover something about yourself that you have always wanted to change, but now realize is a gift. We all have things we don’t like about ourselves, but when God looks at us, that is not what he sees. He sees a child he created that has a purpose, a path, and the perfect balance of personality that is exactly how he meant for it to be. I challenge you to start taking steps to get to know yourself a little better. Maybe you take the Enneagram and discover your number and it opens a door for you that you never realized was closed. Maybe it helps you take steps towards mending relationships, mending wounds that have been open for too long, or mending your heart to spread more good and light into the world. Maybe it will make you reflect on where you are and how you got here, and possibly point you in the direction you are going. I pray all these things over you and hope you realize that no matter the number you might “be,” you are the perfect gift to those around you, and the world needs you exactly as YOU ARE.
