Follow God and Make Things Happen
In one of my previous blogs, “How I Got Here,” I shared a little about how I became a children’s book author. That was the main road that led me to where I am today, but the journey behind how these books actually came to be is a story of its own. It is a story I look back on and can’t believe happened. A story that makes me feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up because God was so evident in every piece of the puzzle that is still unfolding.
Like I said before, I have explained a little about how I got here in another post, as well as the back story of where the books came from in “Behind the Books.”
You may or may not know from those posts that the spark of inspiration from this book came after my husband and I suffered a miscarriage. I was heartbroken after losing our baby and on top of the feelings of grief and uncertainty, I was also navigating how to be a good mom to our toddler. He was so curious and aware, and he knew something was wrong. He asked so many questions and as I have said before, I thought “I wish I had a book.” A book would have made things so much easier in this time when I felt like I didn’t have the words to explain
(Although the books I have written do not directly explain miscarriage yet, I do hope to share the original soon that focuses more on this subject).
As these thoughts were swirling around in my head and I was trying to decide how to talk to my son about what had happened, I honestly had never felt closer to God. I felt as though he was sending me signs and signals left and right to remind me that it was going to be okay and that this experience, although painful, would lead to great joy and healing. These are the 5 signs he gave me that led me to write the “You Are…” series:
Heartbreak, Healing, and Hope.
The first sign I vividly remember was a song. In my blog “I’ll be the Banks,” I explained how “Multiplied” by Needtobreathe was the song that carried through my heartache during the miscarriage. Every word seemed to strike a chord with me and hold my heart in a way that made me feel the healing begin. I had heard it a million times, but this particular time I listened to it, I was driving home looking at the most beautiful sunset. It was early March when we lost the baby, and signs of spring were starting to emerge. I think we had rain the day or two before and it made for the most beautiful sunset. The colors, the light, the reflections off the leftover rain, the song. It all left my soul with this warm embrace that made me feel like God was right there telling me that there is beauty in the pain. He was giving me hope through a song that I needed to hear at that moment.
Conversations and Connections.
The second sign was once again on a drive with my friend Courtney from Austin to OKC. We had traveled together to go to a friend’s surprise party and talked the entire way there and back. Switching subjects from kids, to work, to relationships we covered almost all aspects of life. Towards the final stretch of the drive, we started talking about dreams and things we hoped to do in the future. I shared that I had been considering writing a children’s book to help explain miscarriage to kids, and this lead to a discussion about how often we say things that we don’t take the time to explain. The idea for the “You Are…” series took off from there. I started thinking about each word and how it could be so many different books, how I could tie the books with animals that represent each word, etc. It was like all of a sudden the chain on this idea tucked in my mind had been unlocked and it all came flowing out. The other thing about this sign was that my friend Courtney that was with me on the drive has been there for almost every major event in my life, and me for hers. We have leaned on one another in hard times and celebrated with each other in good times. It only felt right that she was with me when this idea came to life. Another blessing from God reminds me of the incredible people and gifts he has bestowed on my life and that with these people everything would be okay. I shared this idea with a few people as it was coming to fruition, and each time I was reaffirmed that it was something special and that I should pursue it.
Providing the Words.
The third sign was when I was writing the books. This was a moment I will never forget. I sat down and started writing. I knew a general idea of where I wanted to go with the stories but wasn’t sure of how to start. As a teacher, I had always been good at rhyming and making up little silly songs with my kids, so I thought I should start there. If I could make meaningful rhymes, it not only would achieve my goal of explaining the words each book was highlighting, but it would also hopefully hold the attention of children. I started working and the next thing I knew I had 4 poems completed…then 6, then 8, and then 12. They just started flowing out of me like a waterfall of words, and I honestly don’t remember writing it. I sat back after I had finished and re-read what I had typed, and was amazed. “I didn’t write that…” I thought, “I feel like God just put these words in my mind and put them on the page.” I got complete body chills when I realized that I moments ago didn’t have a clue where to start, and then all of a sudden I had 12 books in front of me. I have never been a strong writer because I was always too wordy, or poetic in my writing, but now these qualities were finally useful. I don’t think these stories are ground-breaking poetry, but what makes them special is that they are relatable, they are powerful, and they are TRUE words I believe are straight from the Lord.
Building Confidence and Reassurance.
The fourth sign was when I shared with my friend Abby that I was going to start pursuing publishing. We had been discussing the books and I thought I was ready to take the next step, and the next day she sent me an email that kickstarted everything. A friend of hers from high school had decided to start a publishing company and had sent her an email that she then forwarded to me. I couldn’t help but be in awe because we had discussed this the DAY before. I reached out to this friend of hers and she re-affirmed that I had something special on my hands and that she was interested in helping me publish. We worked together for several months, but ultimately due to many different circumstances, it ended up not working out. I was disappointed, but she gave me a step forward and the new confidence I needed to continue. She helped me to see that it was worth it to keep going, and a reminder that sometimes we have many failures before we find success. A stepping stone to get to the final destination.
Leading me to the right people, through the right people. The fifth sign….WOW. I couldn’t make it up if I tried. After going back to the drawing board about where to take my books, I decided to take a little break because my family had many different things happening in our personal lives. I decided that if I was meant to publish these books, I needed to rely on God and wait for his timing to appear. And appear it did. My sister, who is a pediatric nurse practitioner, and I were talking on the phone one day, and the books came up. She said, “this is so crazy, but my former ER director just decided to take a step back from medicine and acquired a publishing company in Tulsa!” Before I could even research more about his publishing company, her director reached out to her to say thank you for all she had done in the ER and for being a great employee. She took this opportunity to name-drop me and my book ideas, and he encouraged her to have me reach out to him when I was ready. In Jan 2022, I did just that, and now we have created Volume One of my series, with many future projects in the works.
This story is amazing to me in many ways, but the overall theme here is to follow God and make things happen. I think that sometimes when we have something that is meant to happen in our lives if we take a step back and let God show us where to go, he will get us there easier than if we tried to find it ourselves. If we follow Him, our paths may be a little clearer and the next steps don’t seem so difficult. The flip side to this (and a personal belief that you may feel differently about!) is that although he leads us and shows us the way, we still have to do the work. I knew these books were something I wanted and felt convicted to share with the world, but he wasn’t just going to do it for me. I had to keep listening to his whispers saying “Lauren, this is meant to happen” and believe it. He showed me the way, and let pieces of the puzzle fall into my lap, but I had to take leaps of faith and do the rest. I am very big into signs and sometimes worry that I make them up and try to find them in every situation, but there was no denying during this experience that God was working, and that he had work for me to do too.
I hope that this message encourages you to let go, and let God. He will show you the way and show the work he has for you to do.
